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March 13, 2014

We'll Go, If You're Ready

I want to share the terror that I experienced first hand yesterday, and this post has nothing to do with my political views or any sort of thing in that matter. What I'm going to say is simply coming out from an ordinary citizen of Turkey.
Yesterday, I walked for 20 km starting from Eyüp and ending in Osmanbey and stood on my feet for more than 6 hours, for the demonstration for Berkin Elvan who had been hit by a gas canister back in the Gezi Protests, who was in coma ever since and who lost his fight two days ago; and yesterday was his funeral. In Osmanbey, around 4 o'clock, everything was going as usual so my friends and I went in to a cafe to eat some Köfte. After half an hour, we were out to be a part of the demonstrations and to watch the speeches; and exactly three minutes after we got out of the cafe, it started.
Without a single warning, the water cannons started running and me and my friends were basically trapped on the streets, with police forces and water cannons coming from all around. At first, I thought it was a joke and didn't understand why people panicked so much, but then I LIVED it: I tucked down, put my scarf all around my mouth and simply waited for the screams and the running engines to stop. They only grew higher. I couldn't open my eyes because I knew how bad the tear gas felt, so I just hold onto my friend's arm whom was the only one left from the group of friends I was with a second ago. People were running over me, my throat started to hurt and suddenly I couldn't breath. My friend let go of me and I was basically struggling to breath, all alone, and I told myself that I had to get up and start moving. I opened my eyes for just a second, and with the help of adrenaline I started to run into this orange cloud. I couldn't see any single thing, and all I heard was the screams and the sounds of the gas bombs. I thought I was going to faint in there and knew I'd be easily dead if I did, because I basically couldn't find my breath, but something inside me told me to hold on. So I did; and after a couple of seconds, I heard voices coming from my right, telling me to get there. I finally found an entrance of an apartment, and I just sat on the steps, shaking, coughing, paralysed. I couldn't even cry. I wanted to breath, but whenever I inhaled, I began to cough; not to mention that I couldn't keep my eyes open because of the tear gas. I just stood there, trying to calm myself, gain control of my sight. Whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see was the orange gas from hell, accompanied by the screams of people all around me. When I got my senses back, I ran to the street, hoping to find my friends but I had no luck. Instead, I joined the people who were running, on the streets, from the police, and I hid in another restaurant. There I saw a mirror, and I actually didn't believe my reflection belonged to me. My face was covered in black, my eyes all swollen and my nose was red. There, I finally found a signal and talked to my friends, and thanks to God, they were okay. After spending an hour in that cafe, I got out; and met my friends.
I lived Gezi Parkı, I actually camped there for 3 nights, and I'm sure many of you have seen the footages and watched the news and everything but let me tell you one thing; yesterday was way more brutal than before. The police didn't want to stop the demonstrators but literally wanted them dead. I could understand one water cannon BUT FOUR?! I just don't remember a time where I felt this helpless and scared. Struggling to breath? Hearing nothing but screams? I seriously felt like I was going to die there, on the streets, brutally being killed by my own police. I was in a war.








Feather Earrings, Six
Jacket, H&M
Lace Top, Bershka
Silver Belt, Thrifted
Grey Skirt, Bershka
Boots, Thrifted
Stay safe,
Güvende kalın,
Eda GÜLER

24 comments:

  1. How the hell can that be happening in Turkey while the news here show nothing about Turkey? That sounds awful and I can't even imagine how it has felt like for you. It seems like things are getting out of control everywhere now.. I hope you didn't get badly hurt tho :(

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    1. Well, even our media channels doesn't show any of it trust me. :) I used to think people exaggerated these war stories or any sort of thing in that matter, but no, it was absolutely real, I struggled to stay alive... I hope the world changes for the better very soon, or way more people will end up pretty bad. :/

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  2. stunning look! adore that style and your skirt is truly perfect!

    Lyosha
    Inside and Outside Blog
    P.S. would you like to follow each other?

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    1. Thank you so much Lyosha, I'm glad you like it!

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  3. great outfit! loving your skirt ;)
    very nice blog by the way :)

    kisses from Russia,
    Juliet
    RUSSIAN DOLL

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    1. Thanks Juliet, you're so kind!
      Yours is awesome as well xx

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  4. you look great!
    http://enjoylb.blogspot.ru/

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  5. oh, it's sounds really terrifying. I've got to say I have a lot of friends in Istanbul, but none of them are joining such demonstrations. Maybe you should be a bit more careful as well? I understand that you want to defend your point of view, I really can understand that, but at the same time I'm always of the oppinion that there are politicians behind the croud, who use common people to reach aims. Even behind this demonstration there are many politicians who can use this for their own benefit. So why should you sacrifice your health to them? I know, maybe you won't agree with me, but It's my personal vision, nothing more;)

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    1. I try to join the demonstrations as much as I can for several reasons: a) I really feel connected and feel like I belong to a crowd, and it's such a rare feeling that I want to experience it as much as I can, b) I sometimes feel it's the only thing that I can do, to raise my voice in a way, and c) I need to be a part of the crowds because I just lose all my hope sometimes, both for the Turkish citizens and for humanity in general and being surrounded by those friendly people reminds me how helpful and warm a stranger can be.
      You're absolutely right in that matter, I actually had a discussion with my friends about the same thing. The thing is, some party will always try to benefit from these things, there will always be provocateurs, but as I said, I don't know anything else to do to raise my voice... And normally, I'd join the demonstrations in a safer place trust me, yesterday caught me off guard, it all happened so fast and thanks to our luck, we found ourselves right in the middle of the chaos...

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  6. I hate talking about about such topics, because in such things no one can claim to be objective and even friends may quarrel badly because of no unison in opinions. So, let's better talk about fashion) I love the way you look on these snapshots, maybe you are the best in stylizing such hats:)

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    1. I do too, though I sometimes need to get everything out of my system. :) Thank you so much though Alexandra, your thoughts and opinions really enlighten me all the time, thanks for the previous comment, really! :)

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  7. Oh god, what a touching story and this sounds really terrifiying and sad. I feel bad about that :( The news here in Germany shows nothing about that either. Hopefully you & your friends are fine now and didn't get seriously hurt.
    Your look here looks fabulous as always, I like your blog very much.
    Rathana xx

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    1. As I said, even our news doesn't really show about this, so it's perfectly normal if international TV channels don't show what going around here. Thank you so much for your wishes, we are all fine except our psychology :) I guess we all need some time to process everything.
      Thanks once more Rathana, you're so kind! :)

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  8. You done a great job :)
    Awesome look and super cool pics
    http://heyhadrien.blogspot.com/2014/03/200-am.html

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    1. Thanks a lot Hadrien,
      You're so very kind. :)

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  9. Oh, wow. Your account of the protest (and subsequent police violence) is so vivid. Thankyou for sharing your experience as - in your words - an ordinary Turkish citizen. I believe it is important that these views and experiences are shared because I do worry that the media does not accurately portray such events.

    Your outfit is just gorgeous. The hat suits you so well!

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    1. I just feel like I need to share it with the world because if people like myself won't, then the world just goes on without these incidents being noticed. And I'm so glad you share the same view, thank you for your supporting words, you're very kind.
      Thanks once more, I'm flattered. :)

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  10. I can't help to cringe whenever i read your stories. It just sounds so bad what happened over there. It's a very brave choice for you to keep joining the protests, but please make sure to put you (and your friend's) safety first. In a way, it is very nice that you keep writing about that conflict because i think it's another effective way to tell tthe world what really happens. Otherwise i wouldn't even know how the situation is at Turkey.

    And despite of your struggles, i hope you'll stay as healthy, happy, and beautiful as those photos shows <3

    -Aini
    http://ainihapsari.wordpress.com/

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    1. Trust me, it felt even worse, but even I forgot how it first felt like... Thanks a lot, and that's what I always try to follow but this time, we were caught off guard because this happened so fast as soon as we were out from the cafe. I actually want to thank you once more for taking the time and reading these, it really means a lot. On the bright side, I have an actual story to tell my future kids, right? :D
      Thanks a lot Aini, I hope these things will be the case for you as well!

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  11. Very cool pics and super cool outfit too
    Good job!
    http://heyhadrien.blogspot.com/2014/03/all-leafs-are-grey.html

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  12. Oh I heard about that - how terrifying!!! Glad you came out okay though.

    Lovely fluffy cardigan btw, and your thick skirt is perfect for winter. New follower right here! :-)

    Like A Harte // BLOGLOVIN

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    1. Thanks a lot Ivana for your supporting and kind words,
      And I really appreciate your follow! <3

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