Perspective

  2019 was not the best year of my life, quite frankly, it was one of the worst. I worked at a job I loathed, with lovely but corrupted people. I was struggling to keep my hopes high and get ready for a brand new life in Amsterdam, but the reality sucked so much. I had a huge fight on my first week here, and ever since then I've been completely shut out by my parents, I miss my friends back home and I honestly don't know what to do in the future. The best outcome? I've learnt to take baby steps for the first time in my life and appreciate the smallest things possible. 2020, I know it's not a clean slate but I'm so ready for you. See you in the next decade x

I guess everything happens for a reason. Like if my country wasn't this shitty I wouldn't dare to make

a life for myself in a stranger's land. If my parents weren't wise enough to get me the best education

let alone a decent one, I wouldn't have created my own path. The same parents who left me all alone

in this place, made me strong enough to go through this all by myself. If I hadn't failed my courses, I

wouldn't be as determined and see how things don't come naturally as they did all my life. If I wasn't

so frustrated with my mental health, I'd never pick up yoga and meditation which in turn still continues 

to help me a lot. If some of my friends hadn't failed like me on various exams, I wouldn't feel the need 

to adjust my thinking; instead of feeling happy that I'm not alone in feeling like a disappointment, 

I wanted to lift them up because everyone deserves to be the best version of themselves.

If I hadn't go through these feelings, I would never appreciate introspection and dealing with my

emotions. As overwhelming this is, I'm glad to feel things deeply and that having feelings have

an impact on my entire being. If I wasn't left with fifty euros for the whole month, I wouldn't be
able to learn how to manage my money. I wouldn't curse at my father, and realize at the end, he is
just another human, and has his own demons and flaws. If I hadn't come here with my boyfriend, I
wouldn't have a support system. With that being said, I wouldn't have seen how much I need my

personal space and have to make peace with being on my own.

We all deserve to find our place on this planet, to have a healthy mind, to feel like we belong and

loved. Hope 2020 will bring all of this and much more, unravel more adventures, less heartbreaks

and self-doubt, more joy, more health and more peace. I, for the first time in my life, will not go any

further than this and will not be making any bucket list or resolutions for this decade. I suck at them

miserably anyway, and this year taught me that your plans don't actually matter if the universe has

something else in mind for you. With that being said, I will be traveling back to Istanbul 10 days later

and hopefully will feel more content, find answers to my uncertainties and catch up with the best

people I know in my favorite places.

Thank you for each and every one of you who take the time to read my blog, even if I don't know you

and even if you don't know me personally, I'm forever grateful that you are a part of this. And I'm here

for you as you are here for me. So, happy 2020 everybody, hope this year will be the best you had so far!

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Be kind to yourself,

Eda

 ams