still here | ciao '21

 

  

No, this is not me coming back, I hardly ever miss blogging anymore. I am just fond of looking back and reminisce, thus this post. When hours don't seem to pass, another year is coming to an end, and safe to say that this year has been transformative. I am still learning to be an adult, whatever that means; and man, transitioning is brutal. Life is changing constantly, and me? I'm doing fine, I'm stronger than ever, and I'm making it on my own. At least I try, and at the end of the day, that's what matters. We'll get there. We will.

II

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One last week of struggling against resits, one last month of writing my thesis. Two more weeks in the Netherlands, then going back home. To my friends and family. To summer. Escaping life for just a little while, while I can, because god knows that I'm exhausted. Coming to the Netherlands didn't turn out the way I planned, drained my energy and changed me in a way I didn't see coming. But I'll take my time to re-build myself, like I always do. I hope you are staying safe and sound. I leave you with a midnight flow session.

14:56

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It's been forever again. Quarantine. Online examination. Worrying. Missing. Writing. Trying to eat healthy but failing miserably. Re-connecting. Day dreaming. Rotterdam. Books. Fantasy. Not my cup of tea. Thesis. Lost. Music. Cookies on the side. La Casa De Papel. Freud. Community. Friends. Love. Family. Isolation. Train rides. Wash your hands. Don't touch that. HouseParty. Facetime. Missed call. Whatsapp call. Safe. Healthy. In transition. Metamorphosis. Solitude. Small things. Compromise. Trying. Failing. Trying again.

Perspective

  2019 was not the best year of my life, quite frankly, it was one of the worst. I worked at a job I loathed, with lovely but corrupted people. I was struggling to keep my hopes high and get ready for a brand new life in Amsterdam, but the reality sucked so much. I had a huge fight on my first week here, and ever since then I've been completely shut out by my parents, I miss my friends back home and I honestly don't know what to do in the future. The best outcome? I've learnt to take baby steps for the first time in my life and appreciate the smallest things possible. 2020, I know it's not a clean slate but I'm so ready for you. See you in the next decade x

2050s

  Hello friends, happy December!! I have nothing to share really, because my life pretty much consists of studying hard core for my exams due in two weeks so wish me luck. After I'm done with my exams, my brother will be here until the first week of January. I'm also planning on getting back to youtube with new content; a very exciting thing is going to happen in next year's Spring, but more on that later. For now, I'll leave you with something I've written on my diary a couple of days ago. Keep warm x

Recap: Oct

  

So much for posting every 2 weeks right... It's harder than it seems, adjusting to a new life, a new climate and have a fresh start while being stuck in the past; making new friends and reconnecting with the old; trying to move forward while questioning the past. You'll know what I'm talking about, I promise. Instead of doing a Moodboard for November, I just wanted to glimpse back to the last month, where I felt like settling down (a teeny tiny bit) for the first time since I've moved to Amsterdam. So yeah, enjoy x

Moodboard: October

  Happy first Monday of the new month! I was supposed to be crammed up on studying, but oh well, here I am, procrastinating as usual. The real Northern Europe weather has taken its toll on me for the last couple of days, school projects are almost over, and I have 2 exams coming up. On the bright side, one of my close friends is coming here in 3 days and a week later, my best friend will be in town. Below are my last endeavours, recommendations and self-notes. ps: I feel like posting new content every 2 weeks from now on.

Moodboard: January & February

  Since I neglected my blog during January, I decided to do a recap of the first month of the year along with February's plans and what I've been doing in these two months. Doing moodboards are becoming an essential part of my blog and I have to say that I love it, from finding the right photos that depict my feelings, to sitting down to brain storm and write what I'm going through each month, my blog is also transforming into an online diary. Without further ado, read more about what I've been doing since the beginning of 2019.

Mood Board: October

  I never thought I'd ever write a blog post from the office. Yup, you heard it right. Your blogger has entered the adult world exactly a month ago, and still can't keep up with the pace of it. I guess that's mainly the reason why I've skipped September's mood board as I was trying to survive the days of constant rain with my added lack of energy and moodiness. But I feel like I'm more at ease now that the weather is somewhat settled to its usual pace, as well as thanks to my biological clock getting more used to waking up at the dawn.

Local Touristing: My Diving Experience at Kaş

  My trip to Kaş was anything but a vacation. I had to wake up at 8 o’clock every single day to make it on time to my diving lessons. It’s safe to say that after 2 practices a day for the whole week has made me tired but accomplished, content and happy in return. The diving experience was so magical, and now that I got my 1 star, I can’t wait to dive again. If you are a fan of the sea, like myself, wait until you see the world that is under; the colors, the creatures, the feelings are all breathtaking and so worth the exhaustion.

Mood Board: August

  

August is being the year's most accomplishing month for me. I guess the reality of my graduation has finally sink in after two months, and I'm looking for a job to invest my time and energy, and make something useful out of myself, but more on that later. As you're reading this post, I'll be on a vacation for 5 days with my father and brother, it's been a few years since the 3 of us did something together. And finally,  I've spent the first days of August just staying out of the sun whilst socializing and making some new friends.

Turning 23 & The Lessons I've Learnt the Past Year

  Getting a year older has never felt this good, thanks to my best friends and the man whom I'm lucky to call my boyfriend. My boyfriend surprised me a day before my birthday with dinner and a romantic night where we star gazed at the rooftop and enjoyed our books in the jacuzzi. The next day, he and my best friends surprised me yet again, gathering all of my favorite people into one table, it was a very cozy and lovely night. Can't it be my birthday for the rest of my life, pretty please? Enjoy the photos!

Mood Board: July

 Summer used to be my favorite season, until the heat and humidity started to have its toll on me. Nonetheless, July is one of my favorite months not only because it includes my birthday but also because it reminds me of relaxation, vacations, the sea, the books, the romances and everything in between. I was pretty busy the past month with my finals and my mom moving out of town, so my apologies for being on the low. With that being said, here is a post of what my July will look like. Don't forget to wear sunscreen folks!

University: Another Chapter Ends

 For me, every life is nothing but a story. The pages representing each passing day, with the author evolving beyond her imagination and will, with her raw emotions, struggling, the ups and downs. "The carousel never stops turning". Each story contains tens, hundreds, thousands, heck even millions of chapters; some better than the others, some are left to be forgotten with dust spread all over the words, and some pages are memorized forever. This post will contain my College Chapter, the one I'm closing after 5 years.

Mood Board: May

 Wishing a splendid May to all you beautiful souls out there. By the time this post is up, I'll probably be on a flight to Toronto, where my brother lives. It's been so long since I saw him, and I'm excited as hell. On a more negative note, I've been neglecting my studies and my gym sessions, so hopefully this month will be transformational for both of these matters. Hope you're reconnecting with your loved ones, just as I am. x

Mood Board: March

 Happy March peeps. As you're reading this, I'll probably be either packing my suitcase or on a flight, to possibly and hopefully the best trip of my entire life. This year has been acting kind to me for the past weeks, and I'm grateful to experience the energy and positivity floating on my veins. Here I'll leave you with my mood board specific for March, and a little bit of what's on my mind. Enjoy, and stay warm for a couple of more days until the sun is out for the better! 

2501 | Resolutions for 2018

 

It's almost the end of the first month of 2018; and I'm back on Blogspot, my roots, the very first place where I felt like I could open up and let the online world know glimpses of my life. With my blog on Wordpress gone, I've decided to have a fresh start here, as a) I'm incredible lazy to figure out what the hell happened to my domain on Wordpress, and b) even opening up Blogspot after four years of abandonment felt like coming home. I've grown, I've matured, I've transformed, I've bettered myself.