As I'm staring into the screen to come up with something to share, one thought occupies my mind: we make things harder. I don't know why this is our innate feature, but it is there; you, me, she, he, we all do it. We are in this conscious collectiveness of making things harder on ourselves, which inevitably affects the ones around us, and then we end up feeling sorry for ourselves and the ones we hurt along the way. I've always been a firm believer in cutting people out if they come off as toxic, but lately, I've been having second thoughts. Can you actually crave toxicity? Has toxicity, anxiety, unhappiness have become an essential part of your being that you can't possibly detach yourself from these feelings, for even though you feel unhappy, it has become your comfort zone. Now I know it sounds dramatic and depressing, which I promise that I'm neither, but just think about it for a second. How many times have you stayed even though you knew it was bad for your mental state? How many times have you put obstacles along your way, self-sabotage, in the hopes of protecting yourself and admitting at the end that you saw it coming? How many times did you promise yourself that this time would be the last, but kept on going regardless? Maybe there is a silver lining in all of this. Or maybe not. Maybe we are all blinded by the everyday hurdles and hassles and this is the only way we know how to survive. The truth is, every man is for himself. This is your life, your only life, your one chance to be whoever you want to be, with whoever you chose to keep in your life, with whatever feelings you let yourself feel and become your reality. I hope better days are coming. I really do.
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